Emotional development
Children grow up within the emotional atmosphere created by their parents. In an environment where feelings are seen and taken seriously, children usually develop a stable emotional base. In contrast, if a child receives constant criticism or little recognition, this increases the likelihood of anxiety or gloom. Parents who listen and offer support lay a foundation for resilience and confidence.
Social skills
Parents are role models. How they treat others directly influences their children's social skills. Respectful communication and consideration of feelings teaches a child to do the same themselves. But tensions, arguments or lack of empathy can actually lead to problems in social contacts.
Self-confidence and self-image
Support and encouragement are crucial for self-confidence. A child who regularly hears that he is not good enough often develops a negative self-image. Children who receive positive affirmation learn to believe in their own abilities.
Different parenting styles
Researchers broadly distinguish four styles:
- Authoritarian: Strict rules, little explanation. Children obey, but may become anxious, insecure or rebellious.
- Authoritative: Clear rules, but also explanations and warmth. This style often leads to self-confidence, independence and better school performance.
- Permissive: Lots of freedom and few rules. Children often feel loved, but sometimes lack structure and may struggle with self-control.
- Indifferent: Parents fulfil basic needs but are emotionally absent. Children learn to be independent, but are at risk of emotional problems and weaker school results.
No single style works all the time or with every child. Flexibility and consideration for the child's unique needs are important.
Factors influencing parenting styles
Why parents choose a particular approach varies. Gender of the child may subconsciously play a role: boys are sometimes encouraged to take risks, while girls are taught caution. High sensitivity also plays a role. Children who experience stimuli more strongly need more rest and regularity.
In addition, the parent's own upbringing weighs heavily. Those who have been raised strictly may continue that line. But you also often see a countermovement in which parents consciously prefer a less authoritarian upbringing, because they experienced it themselves as children.
Culture and society
Culture strongly determines how parents guide their children. Values, norms and traditions colour parenting styles. In some European countries, socio-economic conditions and family composition play a major role. On average, children in single-parent families experience more challenges than children in two-parent families, although every child can grow up healthy in any family system.
Religion, language and customs also influence how parents set rules, discuss emotions and apply discipline.
Relationship between parents
Parenting is not separate from the relationship between parents. Different ideas, fatigue and the pressures of parenthood can lead to tensions. Good communication is essential. Children sense unerringly when there are struggles. Arguments about parenting can affect their sense of security.
Cooperation requires listening, compromise and sometimes seeking professional help. Ultimately, both parents want the best for their child.
Looking critically and adapting
Parents often act on autopilot. Yet it makes sense to occasionally reflect on questions like: why am I doing this this way? Does it stem from my own childhood or does it actually work for my child?
Every child is different. What gives structure to one may be oppressive to another. A good balance between rules and freedom is therefore indispensable. Too many rules stifle, too few rules make children insecure.
The essence of good parenting
Parenting styles have a great impact on children, but there is no perfect approach. Culture, personal experiences and a child's unique characteristics all come into play. The most important thing is that children feel heard, supported and loved. With that foundation, they have the best chance of growing up emotionally, socially and mentally strong.
EN 
NL